St. Thomas, USVI—In what coworkers are calling a “bold strategy,” David Cole, a quiet yet eccentric local, made waves in his workplace this week after submitting his Box Bar beer tab as a professional expense, claiming the spot is his “primary networking hub.”
Known for his steadfast commitment to Miller Lite, David can be found at Yacht Haven’s Box Bar almost every evening, sipping what he considers the “nectar of the gods.” According to witnesses, his argument for the expense report was as smooth as the first sip of a cold Lite.
“I don’t go to the office to make connections. I go to Box Bar,” David allegedly wrote in his justification. “The deals I seal here might not be on paper, but they’re sealed in Lite.”
A Case of Creative Accounting
The expense report, submitted last week, totaled several months of beer consumption, amounting to what one coworker described as “a shocking amount of Miller Lite.” When HR questioned why the receipts were exclusively from Box Bar, David calmly replied, “That’s where the magic happens.”
Local bartender Paul at Box Bar corroborated David’s claims, saying, “Yeah, he’s here every day. Doesn’t talk much, but he drinks like a pro. If he’s closing deals, I haven’t seen it, but I’ll back him up if it keeps him coming back.”
Beer Diplomacy
While his colleagues initially dismissed the move as a joke, they’re starting to see the genius in David’s strategy. “Honestly, Box Bar is a great place to meet people,” said one coworker. “You’ve got yachties, tourists, locals—you never know who you’ll run into. Maybe David’s on to something.”
Even Box Bar regulars have noticed David’s low-key networking style. “He just sits there with his Miller Lite, quietly observing,” said one patron. “It’s like he’s absorbing information through osmosis—or maybe just the beer.”
HR’s Response
Though HR hasn’t officially approved the expense yet, sources close to the situation say David’s argument has left the team scratching their heads. “The thing is, he’s technically not wrong,” said an anonymous HR rep. “If he’s building relationships and furthering his career over beers, who are we to judge? Honestly, it’s kind of inspiring.”
A Lite Hustle
When asked if he’d change his approach if the expense was denied, David shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “Work-life balance is a myth,” he said. “For me, work is life—and life is Lite.”
As of now, David remains a loyal patron of Box Bar, regardless of whether his expense report goes through. “I don’t do it for the money,” he said. “I do it for the beer.”
And with that, he raised a Miller Lite to toast what he calls his “office with a view.”
